Tuesday, October 26, 2010

heartropics.

bled out on the street, the street you took to get to me
manicured nails on my back
faint remnants of a voice I used to know
I'm so frustrated that I emailed you that night I wasn't in control
she's just like you
she found her way in and I can't get her out

when you loved your baths, and had me jump in
entangled
from the window we saw paradise, from inside we lied
textbook concern; passerby acknowledgement
I feel it in my veins
treasure maps never found again, I lost my chance

you spin me around underwater and make me find the surface whenever you throw your words at me. I'm Antarctica without you; any of you.
I see tragedies on the television and feel nothing
I feel amnesty in my bones, take off running

graduate cylinders, test tubes shattered on the floor
these fluids were never meant for experimentation
your centrifuge has spread my atoms straight to hell

Monday, October 25, 2010

the nasty, the imminent.

when I was in the bathroom
crushing up a little blue pill and inhaling the remains
you were in my bed and naked
waiting for your high to come back
we're all just junkie variations
apparently you kicked your habit
congratulations
never have I loved playing the role of chemicals so much
flawless role reversal
what great chemistry
you've moved on to a new high
but it'll never be the same
you'll be chasing the dragon for the rest of your life
you'll end up coming back like they all do
your realization will be cold sweats and tremors in bed
but I don't care for your withdrawl, because you deserted me

there's something terribly wrong with you
there's something terribly wrong with you

Monday, October 18, 2010

octopus.

as she slept next to me, this complete stranger
I figured something was either under construction or about to crumble
either way, at least it was movement

I don't tell people my dreams because they aren't,
and all the trauma I've felt boomerangs back around at night
bookmarked into grey matter

I woke up next to her but I wasn't really waking up
she was already awake and choking me
slowly muttered the words "I have a cousin"
we were in my bed, in the dark, in my apartment - just as we were in my bed, in the dark, in my apartment
I remember that, and then mad scientists
I remember that, and then running

I woke up expecting hands around my neck
a sort of endless loop of desperation and inevitability
I love the intelligent conversation, the warm body next to me, the curious nature by which she goes about the littlest things, the fact that she's flawed and outstanding and she glows like flame in the woods, but

I still woke up expecting hands around my neck

Monday, October 11, 2010

motherfuckers, part XXVII.

how does it feel to have never had dirt on your hands
currency-revolving life
you're a drawn-in stick figure in expensive mens clothing
your bankroll won't transcend the cemetery
characterless like an unmarked grave
the most expensive vanilla is still vanilla
the method of how it gets to your mouth is futile
silver spoon-fed baby boy
you'll never really live

Sunday, October 3, 2010

mead composition.

I don't need to be overly intellectual, esoteric or wordy.
I'm not trying to impress, these words often go nowhere but back around again.

All I know is that I love you like the blind love sound.

and that's it.