heels over head (correct).

my love,
when god didn't come home, finally, we became estranged
terrified of inconsistency and the revelation that perfection was dead
my love, we tried to make it work
you were drowning in dogma and I was numbing away certainty
who's shoulders felt more weighed down, after the collapse?
who demanded a right to feel gloom?
I'm sure years later you're still milking these tribulations for all they are worth,
my love,
who abandoned me in my greatest time of need,
/they found your conscience wandering the hillsides,
muttering incoherently and without clothes/
they found fragments of us scattered across miles
our legend will be our aberration
how we forced the pieces to fit out of pure reverie,
and then were shocked when the machine came crashing down,
my love,
as the years pass, so will my mixed memories of our curious experience
like an animation forcefully made real, given life and then murdered callously
we drew the characters and background in fading ink
oh my love, to whom you pledged death before us ever parting
enduring, immortal, in perpetuum and infinite
I'm sure you drown in concern and compassion from your friends and lovers
I'm sure many men have gained advantage from your woe,
my love,
I still remember you crossing a parking lot in Ohio, in disbelief
I still remember kneeling in front of complete strangers in the middle of an airport
/I can also never say the name Rene again 
or run my fingers down the length of my many permanent scars/
you crushed me in ways that Hollywood would spin into dramatic cinema
but the punchline lies within my reach, my love,
because my contentment is pure and abundant and my prosperity eclipses all
my love.
.
I couldn't have made all of those mistakes without you,
so thank you,
in perpetuum,
infinitely,
forever enduring,
for your 'love'.

she brought it up.

in the house made of balsa wood,
we commit to Ornithology
Ornithology Ornithology
injecting microscopes into veins and interrogating the atoms
"where did you go, those nights you didn't come home?"
"who named you, and your unstable orbital?"
I count the number of my victories like the pattern repeated
I check the boxes
tear apart the guts of each corpse to see how it died,
and what it ate before it ended

I press on,
drowning in Id,
Ornithology and the documented autopsies.