my skin needs you
when we fall asleep with the windows open
at 4am when the world is on mute
the air is a crisp, raw type of cold
the blanket that envelopes us can't get any more important
I try to convince myself that I don't love you
because I can't need anyone again
not like that
I find my way to the opening and close it down
cover it with makeshift drapes so
we get a slight reprieve from the eventual sun
I urinate and return;
my limbs jigsaw into yours
back under where it's eternally warm
and my heart
almost
feels safe once again
we've got a few more hours before this is over, so I'll pretend like I'm still able
I'll press my lips against your unconscious body
and I'll be carried away
no one likes not being able to dream
4 comments:
you've done better, man!
a couple solid lines though.
honest is always good. this captures a very specific moment. i feel like it lacks your signature bite and ambiance.
yeah - I mean, it's not really written with you in mind, I know it's not really going to be "your thing." most of my stuff might not be, for all I know.
as you said, it's supposed to catch a very specific moment in time, unrelated to the rest of what's going on. the feelings portrayed in this might not even be real. but in this brief window, they definitely are.
Just trying to give you some feedback, didn't mean to make you defensive. I'm not trying to dog you. I am just saying you are very capable of better! Always strive for more, son.
not a defensive response, just an explanation. s'all good, I always appreciate the feedback.
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