octopus.

as she slept next to me, this complete stranger
I figured something was either under construction or about to crumble
either way, at least it was movement

I don't tell people my dreams because they aren't,
and all the trauma I've felt boomerangs back around at night
bookmarked into grey matter

I woke up next to her but I wasn't really waking up
she was already awake and choking me
slowly muttered the words "I have a cousin"
we were in my bed, in the dark, in my apartment - just as we were in my bed, in the dark, in my apartment
I remember that, and then mad scientists
I remember that, and then running

I woke up expecting hands around my neck
a sort of endless loop of desperation and inevitability
I love the intelligent conversation, the warm body next to me, the curious nature by which she goes about the littlest things, the fact that she's flawed and outstanding and she glows like flame in the woods, but

I still woke up expecting hands around my neck