the struggle method.

and there she comes up again
batter it down, silence your grey matter
put a muzzle on your heart
your  co-workers are starting to wonder if you are holding it together
(you aren't)
and there she comes up again,
ten more emails to respond to and the "hold" light on the phone is blinking red
and your eyes are wet, and you can't concentrate on anything
your chest feels like there's a mountain on it
this is your day to day now, and
this is
all
your fault
lunch time but you have no appetite, so go to your car and let it all out
just make sure you collect yourself enough before you go back inside
so they don't know
it's been more than six weeks, when will this end?
has it ever been this bad?
and there she comes up again
how is she doing, what is she doing, who is she with,
the one thing you want to do is the one thing you can't
this silence is the loudest sound you've ever heard and it's killing you
this is
all
your fault
if regret was clothing you'd be in coveralls and a snowsuit
you ruined everything

I hope she knows just how deep she lives inside your heart
I hope she knows you'd be willing to do anything for a
second chance
because everyone deserves a second chance, and so do we
___