penny for your thoughts.

I would like to insert a spout into my head
open the valve and pour all my thoughts out onto your lap
viscous, acidic
and thoroughly consuming
I sit here unable to put sentences together
unable to concentrate and put forth any effort

when you get like this,
I get scared
I've invested all of this for naught
I've opened up the walls only to be taken by the heathens

so many times I'm going back and forth between
"I can't do this" and
"I need this"

please pick one version of yourself,
preferably the one that loves me,
and let the roots grow where they may
because these anxiety attacks aren't helping anyone,
and this roller coaster needs to slow down

I get scared, I get scared,
I get scared

we both want the same thing, we just need to find out how to get there.