ended up staying for more than just the night.

baby just put me to sleep
we'll look this good regardless, just put me to sleep
whether it's my fingertips on your skin
or the lie you've been living in
when I'm this deep I either drown or come up for air
baby I try so hard
I break records with the effort
the songs won't ever stop
but I can change lyrics
so watch your step
and baby doesn't like it when I smoke
she's light through a prism
but with or without I'm still making history
watch your step

breathefuture.

when they come, I need you to be here for me
it will be fine
just hold my hand
they'll be dressed in white and playing with big words
you'll be scared
it's all I ever needed was for you to be here for me
I'm not perfect, I promise
but I'll try so hard for you
you'll see shaking and braces
you will never see me again
my skin will come off
they'll tidal wave in and wash away just as fast
everything will be clean
sanitation-style
but regardless of what you learn
just know that I love you
I really, really love you

manica.

I'm blind in here, shaking it out
staccato heart beats
stains and sin
leave the windows open so the air can dance
shadows on the walls like
ghosts of the people we're lying to
The Audience Translucent
the last time I felt this, ______________
collecting memories
injecting them in my veins
paranoia pheromones
my perception is so wretched
details, details!
just enjoy the night
and leave your rings on my bedside

marionette.

time spent without, oh so draconian
quiet rooms and loud thoughts
your existence is an impossibility
I'm flawed for having such a necessity
my pedestals are way too encumbered
and my arms are still empty

I think I'll stop writing for a while
cut the strings

turning/tossing.

I'm betting on temper tantrums stacked high against possibilities and people betting on you using your ears instead of your heart, closing your eyes and shutting out the world when it doesn't spin your way, fashioning your lips into weaponry and ignoring the poltergeist instead of exorcising it, writing lettings about magnanimous impregnation and stuffing them deep into my pocket while I bet on temper tantrums, my words never lie, my words will never lie, emotion-filled hard drives uninstalled and looped endlessly like beautifully delayed feedback controlled with knobs and sentenced to death when it gets too loud for you, I Am The Mile You Walk In Shoes You Haven't Worn Yet, it's simpler than you think when you shut out the sounds, our church is warm and inviting so why wouldn't you build it in the arctic instead of the jungle, Joni Mitchell singing her single while an entire continent vibrates with understanding and what earthquakes feel, I need you as an orchestra heard from inside the pit and not as the sounds of a phonograph heard relentlessly flickering through the breeze from a distant source.

you're a christmas that never comes, you're the reason for dreams, I could bury this so deep and still be afraid of it.
don't try looking for me. just find me already.

measurements in mistakes.

tumultuous gray and lightning strikes screaming take me for granted
precious
precarious
grace
spit out long-winded addresses and about how we never got there
there was just too much going on
breathe in deep and exhale pure gravity
the signs are always written in an unknown language
and I translate it as such
my definitions are obviously flawed
we're four corners in prisons, in honeymoon suites
in solidified dreams labeled excess and
actual, real, honest-to-god happiness
I don't deserve it
you sure as hell don't
breathe in your gravity; hyperventilate on it
make my shoes out of cement and kiss me to the ground
because I've been floating
and apparently
I can't do that anymore

chandeliers.

yeah, I see you on the beach I used to lay comatose on for days at a time
once I dug a hole and buried epiphanies in it
broke apart on the rocks like so many old ships
stood in the warm clear waters up to my thighs and felt the infinity of it
watched it like good cinema
breathed in the scent of existence and felt it's grain between my toes
I asked, "how can a marriage end a block away from this gracefulness?"
I'll stay out here forever
plant me in the sand like a flag waving for a war I can't win
she told me god didn't want us to have children
or rather, for her to have children with me
what it takes to leave someone you love is the same as leaving the shoreline
my skin can't take the burns but my eyes will always want more
I can see my future in the horizon
even the sun is drowning but I'm not getting out of the water
Collins and 32nd, where my heart died for the second time
walk along the water and breathe it in
things will always be fine
if you feel the infinity of it

quotations. any quotations.

we are the acting out
pulsing in shockwave-esque Theatre attributes
the drama is just so unreal, we should put on 3D glasses and sedate down
the magnanimous and the benevolent will shower you in feel goods
we are, we are
submission central, the abrupt timeline crease and a love for prosthetic emotions
you are now and have always been the noise I hear in the other room
the paint is peeling on the walls that surround us
I believe that you are deceased and are only speaking through ventriloquism
Puppetry and Hemophilia
yes
yes, that's what I believe
when your coma blood dries and there's nothing left to eat
maybe then you'll love

why people close their eyes when they kiss.

I'm not eating anymore
watching the vultures pick the parking lots clean
mister wasn't feeding the fire
wearing old man's clothes and acting out
people cross the street when they see me coming
because I'm walking with you in my mind
I must be going crazy
years from now someone I don't know will be cursing my name
like the rest of them are
headphones on and the sounds of falsettos in my head
behind a piano
I'm sterilizing the wound the only way I know how
I'm not eating anymore
I can't wake up
the chrome is blinding and the volume isn't even on
I can't bare empty notebooks
I can't bare the sight of it
why do I need you to love me in order to love me
why can't I get you out of my mind
we're both walking and we don't know where
and it doesn't matter
and it won't ever

esoterics.

oh we're no longer spinning
miss amnesia, I define you as butterflies
now define me
we can't swallow these words
our throats are slit as smiles
I've scattered memories so far even I can't find them
and you've had your chance
my cuticles can't handle this ride
I refuse to be strapped in
electronics, ephedrine, esoterics
whispers all day every day
it's all in the subliminal until we shout it from city streets
or sometimes in bedrooms
late at night
in quiet words and hushed tones
with tears